One of the most often-asked question I get these days (besides “Do you ever do school in your pajamas?”) is “So, how many friends do you have?” and it makes me cringe when I hear it, because I do not number my friends and base my friendship worth on how many of them I have. Plus, I really don’t have a lot of friends, and I’m perfectly okay with that.
Yes, you read that correctly – I really don’t have a lot of friends, and I’m perfectly okay with that. What I do have, though, are mentors. Lots of mentors and a lot of Jesus. This does not have anything to do with the fact that I am homeschooled and “closed off from the outside world”, because I am most certainly not. Nor is it that I’m just “an awkward person”. Really, it’s my value in who I spend time with, and the fact that I want to surround myself with people who love Jesus with all they have and who genuinely want the best for me.
I’m choosy like the moms in the Jif commercials:-)
I learned early on that I’m different. I love TobyMac and Jesus and I grow to love people in bands more than most people do; I like to drink coffee and have long conversations and watch action movies that most girls shudder at. I’m different, but I love being different. I wouldn’t be who I am without those little things, so I embrace them. I’d rather be in love with my quirks than try and hide them for the acceptance of people who won’t accept me anyway.
The answer to this question – “What’s so hard about finding friends, anyway?” – is that it’s not hard to find friends; to find people to hang out with. What’s so hard about it all is finding people who will love you for you. People who will agree to listen to your favorite song, because they love you so much that despite how much they dislike Taylor Swift, they’ll listen to all five minutes and thirty seconds of “All Too Well”. Those are the people I want as friends. People who will try new coffee shops with you and tell you they love you just because. People who will be there for you to watch your favorite movies with you and hug you when you’re sad. I have yet to find friends like that, but I know I’m gonna find one – or maybe even a few – someday. I would rather wait for that than settle for a friend who will use me, manipulate me, and try to wear me down slowly. Truthfully, I can find “friends” by simply asking someone if they want a piece of gum. I just have yet to find real, true, genuine friends. That’s the thing that’s so hard about finding friends, is the part about finding true friends.