I’m a teenager, and I have questions about how others process ideas. When it comes to dating in high school, it’s almost uncomfortable to talk about in most company. Is this because we as teenagers are not asking the right questions, or is it because we as a society do not feel comfortable giving teenagers a straight answer on a subject that could end in heartbreak?
I resorted to the internet to see what fellow teenagers and Christian leaders thought about dating. The internet is powerful, and I was curious as to how dating — in a proper, pure, Christian manner — was being discussed on this major platform. I was quite disappointed. What I found was that many of these Christian teenage YouTubers and bloggers were choosing not to date out of fear that things could end badly or that they would be tempted to do something sexual, and that the adults were no better.
Look – I believe dating is something that is a beautiful yet frightening (but ever-so worth said fear) learning experience, and I believe you should be careful about who you let into your heart. I believe that you should date out of admiration and intention toward your boyfriend/girlfriend, and not on a whim. I believe love is something worth pursuing, and that true, real, pure love is rare. But I also believe true love is worth getting stepped on a few times to find. I don’t think making the choice to date should be based off of fear of being hurt, because life is much too short for this way of thinking. If you feel that you will not be able to retain a strong relationship because you do not have time or that you are emotionally unable to be responsible for another’s heart, then brownie points to you for being honest. But if you have grown up in and out of influence of those who treat dating so young as some sort of dark magic, then I beg you to think about why you feel the way you do about dating in high school.
A common argument is that dating as a teenager is pointless, because you can’t get married in high school. I would really like to know the basis off this argument. I don’t understand the reasoning behind waiting until you “have it all together” if you truly fall in love with someone at a young age. John Luke Robertson and his bride got married this summer at 19. They stayed in a healthy, pure relationship for a few years before deciding it was pointless not to get married. After all, they are in love. Their relationship is inspiring to me because they are proof that a relationship in high school done right can last, well, forever!
I am particularly bothered by resisting dating out of fear because I find it troubling that God could potentially send the man or woman whom he intends for you to be with to you in high school. I would hate to live with the regret that I may have missed out on something huge because I was afraid to get hurt. We were kids once and invincibly rode our bikes and fell off — a lot. But did that stop us from learning how to ride our bike? How is this kind of thing any different?
Not that I think you should date someone and be planning the wedding, I just think that intention is good. The intention of friendship is to love someone by always treating them with care and to genuinely enjoy their company. The intention of dating, in my opinion, should be to love someone by knowing so much about them – even the dark parts – and loving them even more than before. To listen with an open heart to the heart of the one you love and truly hear their past pains and future dreams. To deeply want only the best for your love and look past the minor things. To get to know someone so well that you see their quirks that most would scoff at; to find them lovely and see that they set this person apart.
What is your take on high-school dating?